The man with three girlfriends

+ Viktor Leberecht contributes some expert observations

To be the man with three girlfriends, that’d be something, wouldn’t it? Heaven on earth, probably many men would think, who don’t know polyamory yet. And it serves the cliché of the pasha so well. But only at first glance. In the long, detailed and in my opinion very well written article in German “Wie Joost mit drei Frauen in einer polyamorösen Beziehung lebt” which translates to “How Joost lives with three women in a polyamorous relationship”, the author Mandy Rutkowski takes a look behind the scenes in of 24th February. And I, Viktor Leberecht, was interviewed as an expert.

I´ll give a short summary here, and those of you who would like to read the full article in their language can copy/paste it into which is extremely good except for always translating Polyamorie = Polyamory into “polyamority”. 

The man with three girlfriends: Heaven on earth or rather exhausting?

Joost from Amsterdam, who was interviewed for the article, obviously has a lot of experience and a personality that seems to be full of energy but has learned a lot from his polyamorous experience. He describes the advantages and disadvantages of a polyamorous relationship. And he is certainly not a pasha. Last but not least, he has given one of the best answers I ever heard to the question that has been asked time and again, whether polyamory is not exhausting with all the coordination:

“I am often asked whether polyamory is not exhausting. All I can say is: ‘Is it exhausting to have a family in which you want to give affection and attention to everyone involved? It’s very comparable for me.” However, he admits that coordination and planning are necessary in order to do justice to all partners.

I find it ingenious to compare polyamory to what people do in terms of coordination in a “normal” family. Shows once more how normal polyamory actually is.

Why live polyamory at all, and what the expert says

The article does a good job of explaining what polyamory means in theory and practice, and gives an (my) answer to the often-heard question of why people want polyamory at all (finally I can quote myself):

“In recent decades, people all over the world have increasingly turned away from traditional ways of life, partly because they know from their own experiences and divorce statistics that monogamous marriage does not work as a way of life for most people,” explains Viktor Leberecht, Berlin-based relationship expert with a focus on polyamory.

What else Joost has to say about polyamory

The article contains many good statements from Joost. But I can’t and won’t “steal” all of them, only this one, about polyamory and compassion:

In polyamory it is very important to be able to feel empathy and compassion and joy when your partner feels good. Even if you are not the one currently making her feel good.

The article from February 24 “How Joost lives with three women in a polyamorous relationship” at article was translated with help from

This article was published on Viktor Leberecht.

The website Viktor Leberecht - What it´s about and an overview of the contents

On the website of Viktor Leberecht, an expert on love and family life free from state over-regulation, you may find current articles and general information on polyamory, polygamy and open relationships. And you will learn how we all, including the followers of monogamy, are unnecessarily and unlawfully restricted by excessive government regulation of our love and family lives.

Series of articles

You will find articles that I have either written myself or found all over the world, and some by Guest Authors.

General information about polyamory, polygamy and open relationship

What is Polyamory?: the English translation of the subpages is still in the works. They will give information e,g. about prejudices about polyamory, lists of polyamory events and meetings and polyamory dating websites, as well as information about polyamory science with results from research on polyamory and many other topics.

What is polygamy? the English translation of the subpages is still in the works. They will give information about, for example, prejudices about polygamy and how things really are, polygamy introductions, and polygamy science with results from research on polygamy.

What is Open Relationship? this area is still completely in the works. Once done, it will give information about, for example, prejudices about open relationships and how things really are, open relationship introductions, and open relationship science with results from research on open relationships.

My theses on love and family free from excessive government regulation in a democratic society

In 2010 I wrote theses about the possible contribution of non-monogamy to the modern democratic society based on human rights and equal rights, which I have constantly developed further. From the theses, you may learn how we all, including the followers of monogamy, are restricted by excessive government regulation of our love and family life. Theses on love and family free from excessive government regulation.

Expert, Author, Speaker and Coach for Polyamory and Open Relationships

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About Viktor Leberecht 686 Articles
Viktor Leberecht studied history and is a trained and experienced journalist. He does not belong to any religion or ideological group. Since 2003 Viktor has been living in a polyamorous and open relationship with a woman who was married to another man - her husband died in 2018. Viktor gives speeches and writes about polyamory and its marital form, polygamy, to inform, dispel prejudice and promote social acceptance of polyamory and polygamy.

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