On the page “Polygamy” you will find my basic ideas about polygamy as a human right.
Based on this, I have developed several theses on polygamy as a human right, which I will present here in an overview. On the sub pages, to which you can navigate via the menu or the link at the end of each thesis, i will explain each thesis more thoroughly. The theses and their formulation are please to be regarded as suggestions (especially as i wrote them in german and what you read is a translation), and i invite you to comment on them.
My basic thesis is that free choice of the form of heterosexual, homosexual or sexually mixed family life is a human right.
Love, sexuality and family, as birth and death, are the most private sphere of human existence, in which the state is allowed to intervene only to prevent harm to individuals or to take action against damage incurred.
It follows that a ban on polygamous relationships, in which all parties involved have equal rights and that are entered into by all parties voluntarily and with knowledge of all parties involved is a violation of human rights.
- Every adult human being must be free – without state, public, religious or other forcible interference – to choose the form of heterosexual, homosexual or sexually mixed family life, provided that it does no harm neither to the directly involved parties or to other people. More
- No one – not a state religion, society, or some other institution, group or person – has a right to order a person or even use coercion to enforce how many people he / she may love, with how many people he / she may have concurrent sexual relationships and with whom and with how many people he / she creates a family. The precondition is that all parties voluntarily and knowingly enter into these relationships, and that this freely elected form of relationship is based on equal rights for all partners and causes no harm neither to the directly involved parties or to other persons. More
- The prohibition of polygamy (as a statutory way of life) is an illegal state-involvement in the personal liberties of the individual. The state has no right to regulate the emotional-life, the love-life or the family-lives of individuals, just as he has no right to regulate the sexual life, if not to avert or punish damage, for example: rape, sex with minors etc. The right to make rules on the organizational aspects of love, sex, marriage and family-life, like every right, first of all, lies with the individual. The state may only engage when damage to other individuals has to be averted or must be punished. The state also has the right, bestowed on him by the citizens to act in their interest, to regulate the details of the forms of family-life, for example: mutual rights and obligations of spouses, education of children, inheritance, divorce, etc. More.
- The establishment of monogamy in the western states is a remainder from the days when the christian churches shaped the life models. In my native Germany, for example, after the Second World War, when we gave ourselves a new constitution based on human rights, monogamy was kept as a rule as a matter of course. Not much thought was given to the question if this was in line with the concept of individual rights. But the time in which the christian churches shaped life patterns – which without question were usually set down in law – is long over. Most people in Germany and many other western countries don´t see the christian way of life as a model anymore, and many are not christians. Laws have to reflect the reality of life in a society and to regulate it accordingly, but are not there to enforce ideological or religion-based life models or lay down inherited forms of life forever. Above all, our society in Germany today is based on the concept of human rights which establish a separation of church and state and religious freedom. If the state turns Christian lifestyles into laws that is a violation of the human right of religious freedom, and in Germany it is also a violation of the constitutionally established separation of church and state. More.
- Even people who prefer monogamy because they think this way of life to be the right way to live love and partnership must have an interest in making polygamy a legal form of marriage or family-life. For monogamy prescribed by government or religious rules is always in danger of degenerating into a forced system. A freely chosen monogamy, at least per se, is no control system but can be a wonderful way of living your life together. But this freedom as well can only be achieved if every person may freely choose whether to live monogamous or polygamous, because only then is the choice for monogamy a freely made decision. More.
- Monogamy and polygamy can exist simultaneously in a society. More.
- Every person, who wants to be monogamous should be free to do so and this should be supported by the state. Those who want to practice polygamy should also have the freedom to do so, and this should be supported by the state as well. More.
- Men and women should have the right to live a polygamous marriage or other form of polygamous relation. They should be supported by the state as well as people who lead monogamous relationships. More.
- Polygamy is a normal and beneficial way of life for men and women, given all parties involved have the same rights. More.
- Polygamy and polyamory require a high degree of ability to love, as they require trust in the love of others and in yourself – that you are worthy to be loved and are really being loved by your partner(s). More.
- Polygamy requires a high degree of human maturity, as it requires to trust a spouse or a partner, to give freedom, to exercise less control and overcome the fear of loss in case your partner does feel love and sexual desire for other people. This is particularly true in societies where this form of life is new as a recognized form of life, as the entire cultural background (social relations, morals, literature, visual arts, music, etc.) and the whole mentality has for centuries been shaped by the rule of monogamy and is now focused entirely on monogamous relationships and sees love or sexual desire for more than one person as something forbidden, dangerous and shameful. More.
- Polygamy, when based on equal rights of all parties involved, leads to stable, lasting relationships, perhaps even more than monogamy. More.
- The need – perhaps also the appeal – of cheating on your partner(s) to have sex with others is lower in polygamous relationships, as the wish for sex with different partners so commonly found in human nature can be satisfied within your polygamous relation, rather than having to engage with strangers, who are unfamiliar to you and maybe not trustworthy. As a result, people are spared the usual problems associated with cheating. More.
- Polygamy, when based on equal rights of all parties involved, leads to more love. A human may finally be free to openly love and /or sexually desire more than one person and be loved by more than one person. This seems to be a much better way, than – like it usually is done in our societies – to practice love and sex with others secretly behind the back of your partner, exactly the person with whom you wanted to have a relationship based on love and trust. Can there be too much love in a society? More.
Notice: This article is translated from an original article.