Everywhere love is spoken, discussed, and posted about, but what about sex? Love is proclaimed and pledged, it is praised as healing everything, and it is synonymous with all that connects beings in this universe. There are TED lectures on “Organized Love”, and in my hometown Vienna there will soon be a full-day “Love Symposium”.
All this is very welcome. However, I often feel that sex is forgotten. On the street, young women wear tops that show more skin than they cover, but even in the greatest heat they wear a bra underneath (really gruesome for me!). Sex is described as “disgusting” in the media and self-reported feminists talk about distant matriarchal societies that live polyandry, but that it is handled “with the utmost discretion”.
We were already much further when it came to sex …
What is bad about sex or requires discretion? Where is the passion, the pleasure, the joy, the deep connectedness, which one only feels when one is in each other, and the gratitude afterwards?
Lots of fighting and killing, but what about sex?
One can apparently kill a lot of people (“oh how terrible”), but the process that ultimately creates life is concealed. There are a lot of fight-clubs, but there are no sex-clubs. And I do not mean brothels. The necessity for brothels just underlines what I say: the discrimination, repression and denial of sex.
Monoamory is still seen as a natural law and a marriage is “the most beautiful experience”. It has long been demonstrated that there is no monoamory. Even in Wikipedia you can read, and every anthropologist can confirm: since the beginning of human sexuality, about 70% of both sexes were simultaneously sexually and loving with multiple people at the same time. Man is not a monoamorous creature, that is a fact. And marriage as the most beautiful experience is a lie: with divorce rates up to 70% and a number of murders in 2015 among married couples of 2,500 people in Germany alone.
True fidelity is something else
Like toddlers, many people demand “fidelity”, meaning sexual exclusiveness, even attraction-exclusiveness. This does not have anything to do with what is truly meant by fidelity, but it sounds more correct and can be better used to blackmail your partner.
My conclusion: I wish for a little less “LoveLoveLove” and a little more physicality, sensuality and joyful open eroticism. I believe this is highly necessary.
Photo by whatleydude